The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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