Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
