So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
