he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
