Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
