Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
