I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
