So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
