is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
