i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
