dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
