I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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