I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
