he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
