I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We got so high we made milksteak
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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