In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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