Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
