Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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