his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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