wrigley field is MILF paradise
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
