maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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