There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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