I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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