the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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