well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
