I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
