Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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