Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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