You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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