a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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