if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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