There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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