Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize