my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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