It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
