i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
