just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
