Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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