How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
