Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
