Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
