Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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