You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
