I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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