we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Randomize
