i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I skipped work to stalk him.
vagina is talking i cant
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
