so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
