grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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