Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
