her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
