Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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